So we talked about it – but I said – before we DO talk – you need to know 2 things …

1. It’s something that I am VERY passionate about. 2. I’m right.

That being said – ANY amount of pornography is TOO much pornography.

But what about … NOPE.

Well – when … NOPE.

Yeah – but … NOPE.

But I’m thinking about my wife when I look at it – NOPE.

But it’s just to get the job done – NOPE.

What are you going to do when the boys learn about masturbation in school? When they’re taught that it’s just normal.

Well – about that. The boys go to a school where that’s not taught as “normal”.

BUT – it got me thinking about it. What ARE we going to tell them?!

I was telling a friend about this conversation and she showed me a book she got for her kids.

GOOD PICTURES BAD PICTURES.

Yesterday we started it – a few chapters at a time. It’s got questions to go over at the end of each chapter AND it puts the whole pornography thing into words that tend to escape you as a parent – especially of young children.

We finished it today. It explains the attraction center of the brain – what happens when you get excited and why pornography tricks you into believing the lies it’s telling you.

A few weeks ago – we were scrolling through NETFLIX and we settled on Princess Diaries 2 (it’s been a long winter so far here – even though it’s just starting) ANYWAY – the movie starts and Fitzy (who I forget can read most anything now) says – MOM! Chris Pine is in this movie!! YOU LOVE HIM!!

So today – I had the opportunity to explain it in a way they might get AND teach a little lesson.

You guys know that I think Chris Pine is cute right?! Yes – we know. AND you know that I think daddy is cute too right?! Yes – we know.

And I love daddy and am IN love with daddy and married to daddy and committed to daddy. Yes – we know.

So – should I ever look at bad pictures of Chris Pine – or anyone for that matter? No – you shouldn’t.

What if Chris Pine and I were in a movie together and I needed to kiss him in the movie?! Because I think he’s super cute and kissing him might sound like a good idea. MOM! No – you shouldn’t. Because you’re married to daddy and you shouldn’t do things that can make your feeling brain take over your thinking brain.

Fitzy chimed in – AND it’s in the 10 commandments mom.

And I’m sitting here typing this – watching FRIENDS for the first time since I watched it in high school.

SEX. SEX. SEX. Just like Seinfeld. Just like Big Bang Theory. And I’ve never seen pornography and I know that FRIENDS isn’t pornography – but Joey was in one. And they watch it – cus that’s just normal. IT IS JUST NORMAL. And when Jared told me – on one of our first dates – that he had a pornography problem – I thought … doesn’t every guy? Isn’t that just normal?!

You know what – it might be normal. It might very well be normal across the board.

How much pornography is TOO much pornography? Any amount. There is no other answer. LET’S MAKE THIS THE NORMAL.

Being a dad is hard. Mostly because I’m not a kid person. I find it hard to relate, hard to pretend “play”, etc.

But marriage. Marriage is hard. Marriage is everyday. It’s 24/7 hard. Like hard. For realz (as the kids say).

Don’t get me wrong. I love being married, and I LOVE Danielle, but loving Danielle every day and holding up my end of the vows is not always a walk in the park.

You see, I’m fairly forgetful, I think it’s part of the Male condition, for whatever reason. And Danielle values having things done (gifts of service for you 5 Love Languages peeps). And I try, I really do. Sometimes I try too much and just ending up forgetting in incredibly epic fashion. #FAIL, if you will.

And yet Danielle loves me, even though I drive her completely cuckoo at times. For that, I’m eternally grateful. She claims not to be patient and caring sometimes, but she is.

Lately Danielle has been “interesting” to live with. I blame the baby! (just kidding, Baby Barden) Something about hormones and such. And I get it. I do. But it can be challenging at times. I risked bodily harm by informing her one evening that she was, frankly, being crazy. She took it remarkably well, because she’s awesome like that. She can admit when she’s being more Almond Joy than Mounds.

And here’s a little secret. Ready? Being an only child, I value my alone time. Because for roughly 20 years of my life or so I basically had as much of it as I wanted. So to be by myself for a day, or two, or three, is no big deal. It’s not that I don’t like being around Danielle or Fitzy, but sometimes…I just need my space.

I enjoy golfing. 3-4 hours of just being out in the elements playing a game that is deeply maddening and enjoyable at the same time, usually with friends. It’s one of my favorite things to do. But, it does take me away from the rest of my family. So I am working on finding a balance. Which is hard.

Lately Danielle has been on my nerves and I’ve been on hers. Sometimes I think we need a separate vacation, but you didn’t hear that from me I think my problem is that I assume she’s going to be upset about something, so I go on defense automatically. I just can’t help it. And Danielle assumes I will forget something or not do something, so she goes into “prepare to be disappointed” mode, if you will.

And yet we work. We keep at it, because it’s worth it. Now, more than ever, society needs examples of marriages that work, in spite of all the challenges. So we fight.