the marriage fight

Posted By on Jan 22, 2013 | 0 comments


Oh. My. Word.

We’ve been busy being married and being parents and being friends. This blog totally suffered – but it’s been in the back of my mind almost every day. I wrote down LISTS of topics and FINALLY have a moment to write.

Why not dive RIGHT in and ask a hard one. Does Jesus have a place in your marriage.

Let me tell you about the role He plays in ours – from my perspective.

When Jared and I started dating – I told him I wasn’t interested in a relationship – but a marriage. It freaked him out. He needed a few days to adjust and let that sink in. That didn’t mean that I wanted to marry him RIGHT THEN – but that I wasn’t about being in a relationship that went nowhere. If any red flags came up – on either side – then it was over. I didn’t want to hang on to something that wouldn’t last. He met my parents on our first date. I’d known his for a while. Family was very important to both of us – we accepted that we wouldn’t just be marrying each other – but our families too. It was very important to both of us that we shared the same beliefs – politically and morally. Check. We both knew that we needed to marry someone who loved Jesus – had Him living inside their heart. Check.

Have we done a good job at keeping Jesus in the center of our marriage – eh – mediocre at best. But He has always been there – especially when it matters. Well – we really turned to Him when it mattered. He was always there waiting. We’ve prayed together – cried together – fought together – read together – taught together – loved together.

I have no idea how to love people without Jesus in my heart. I have a hard enough time loving them with Him hanging out in there. I cannot imagine what it would be like without. Let me tell you why.

Jesus bled for me – died for me. He has forgiven me. He loves me. Because I have experienced that love – I share it. I try to represent the love of Jesus through it – I fail most of the time. But I know what it’s like to be broken and empty – and thanks to Jesus I know what’s it’s like to be healed and full. Living with someone and sharing my life with them – could only be done with Jesus on my side.

I get angry and judgmental. I get impatient and unkind. I get irrational and sometimes just mean. Without Jesus in my life – I would be horrendous to live with. To love. Without Jesus in my marriage – I wouldn’t be so quick to admit my wrongs – and I have LOTS. I wouldn’t be so willing to work on our issues and to forgive. I wouldn’t know where to turn with my worries and my doubts. Jared and I take them to Jesus – together.

It’s not just about going to church together. It’s not about raising a child in the church together. It’s about loving Jesus. Together. It’s about spending this life on earth with the person that Jesus made exactly for me and spending eternity with him in heaven after this is all said and done. I cannot imagine spending my life on earth with someone that I would never see again after this life. Someone that I know would be spending their eternity in hell – in pain – in turmoil.

Having Jesus in the center of marriage has been THE reason we stay together. The reason we work our crap out. The reason we forgive. The reason we love.

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