You’ve heard this said right? Many MANY times according to Wikipedia. It’s from the novel and subsequent film – Love Story – which I’ve never seen. When the search came up on Wikipedia – there was a quote from John Lennon – love means having to say you’re sorry every five minutes. I prefer that one. Lately anyway. Who am I kidding – not even lately. Always – I think I’ve just grown and learned that my pride really isn’t THAT important to say I’m sorry.
Love means NEVER having to say you’re sorry. NEVER? I guess maybe I should watch the movie and then I would understand. But then again – I’m not much for gushy girl movies – with a few GREAT exceptions. But NEVER? REALLY?
I think it’s absolutely CRAZY that we seem to hurt the people we love – usually we hurt them a lot more than people we don’t even really like. I think I’ve mentioned it before – but it’s that comfort factor. I think sometimes we take advantage of our wedding vows and we KNOW that we will be there for each other so we can get comfortable and be rotten without any severe consequences. Again – WRONG.
And why is it SO hard to admit our wrongs and say those words – I’m sorry. Why is it SO easy to place the blame on others instead of reflecting on ourselves and seeing that we mostly likely are contributing to the problem more than we would like to think? Why is that we have to say I’m sorry – OVER and OVER again for the same things? Why is it that instead of taking blame when we totally should be – it’s sometimes easier to lie and bury yourself deeper and deeper?
Love means safety. Looking into the eyes of your husband and feeling truly safe – emotionally – physically – financially – just safe.
Love means commitment. Promising yourselves to only each other for the rest of your lives. Devoting yourself to stand by your husband through it all. The good and the bad. The beautiful and the ugly.
Love means happiness. Laughing and enjoying each other. Remembering why you fell in love in the first place.
Love means forgiveness. Asking for it and giving it. Love means having to say you’re sorry. Every day if you have to. It also means accepting forgiveness when it’s asked of you.
When I was going through my jaw pain I would apologize to Jared all the time. I’m sorry that you have to take care of me. I’m sorry that we can’t do anything. I’m sorry that I can’t think straight. I’m sorry that I think I’m dying. I’m sorry that I asked you to cut my face open. I’m so sorry.
When we lost our first baby I would apologize all the time. I’m sorry that we didn’t get to see a picture on the ultrasound. I’m sorry that I might have done something wrong to cause this. I’m sorry that nothing you say to me makes it easier. I’m sorry that I can’t feel your hugs – I’m too numb. I’m sorry that we can’t have sex – I don’t want this to happen again – but I want a baby more than anything. I’m sorry that I want a baby so badly. I’m sorry that I cry all day. I’m sorry.
When Jared went through his severe anxiety attacks I would apologize all the time. I’m sorry that I don’t know what to do for you. I’m sorry that I can’t say anything right. I’m sorry that I can’t make you happy. I’m sorry that I can’t fix this for you.
When Fitzy was born I apologized. A lot. I’m sorry that I’m so tired. I’m sorry that I’ve made this baby my life. I’m sorry that I’m not seeing what you need. (those last two weren’t till very recently) I’m sorry that we have to ask someone to take our beautiful puppy in. I’m sorry that I’m exhausted. I’m sorry that I don’t have time. For anything. Ever. Or so it seems.
I’m sorry that I blew up on you. Again. I’m sorry that I doubted you. Again. I’m sorry that I didn’t see you needed me. I’m sorry that I’m controlling. (trying REALLY hard to work on this one) I’m sorry that I’ve been too busy mothering you. I’m sorry that I’m not perfect. I’m sorry that I get jealous. I’m sorry that I get irrational. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I don’t encourage you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I say it. A lot.
But do I really mean it. Do I really repent and try to change my behavior and my outlook? Not as much as I should be. Not even close really.
That’s what I’ve been trying to do lately. Saying I’m sorry and meaning it. Calling people out on the times that they’ve hurt me. Knowing that most likely it will come back to something that I did. Something they are holding onto. Something I’ve never said I’m sorry for. Knowing that I won’t like the answer sometimes. Knowing that in TRUTH and LOVE forgiveness is waiting.
Whether you need to say I’m sorry to someone or you’re waiting for an I’m sorry from someone – take that step today. ESPECIALLY if it’s your husband. Swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness. Swallow your pride and accept his apology. Take the steps so that you don’t have to say I’m sorry again. At least not for THAT same issue.
Forgiveness is AMAZING. Jesus has it for you. Jesus wants it for you. In all areas of your life – ESPECIALLY from Him but also from and for people in your life.
Forgiveness is a MAJOR step in fighting for your marriage.
<strong>Love means having to say you’re sorry. Love means having to say I forgive you. Sometimes every single day. </strong>
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